Once I came to Vegas with a vegan friend. We ate at the Bellagio buffet and all he could do was stare at tourists in disgust. Fat people consuming and consuming. Sometimes people would fill two trays at a time and bring them back to their table. He found something to eat — sauteed vegetables,…
Category: Old Days
A different me. No longer applicable.
Jill, Family.
Last night I was at Jill’s apartment in Hollywood. We were shooting oxy’s and talking about childhood. Jill grew up in a wealthy, chaotic home. She had an older brother and an older sister. Her dad had a high-up position at Fedex and was rarely home. Her mom was kind of crazy, Jill said, like…
Perfecting the Addiction.
I met Jill in rehab. She was from Tennessee and was an all American girl: long blonde hair, blue eyes, southern accent, denim mini skirt and uggs. She was in her early twenties and an opiate and benzo addict. She came into rehab after doing a year on methadone. She had never tried heroin. Jill…
semi-subversive in Los Angeles
I used to live in a Spanish style duplex near the Beverly Center. Whenever anyone asked where I lived I would say Hollywood because it was a million times cooler than saying “near the Beverly Center,” or “between West Hollywood and Beverly Hills.” When we hear Hollywood we think of kids on the street and…
Jimmy
Sometimes, late, we go to this dark little coffeehouse off Hollywood Blvd called The Hotel. There’s a pool table with broken cues and a free jukebox. They sell panini sandwiches, perrier, Italian sodas and all kinds of coffee drinks. You’re allowed to smoke inside. The Hotel is on a street lined with bars so it’s…
Return.
Clocks tick more loudly here, and more slowly. Time moves so differently that the events that make up your day have become meaningless; more boring than ordinary. It’s quiet, insular, and safe here. The neighborhood is protected by walls made with decorative bricks. At the entrance there is a sign that reads Crestview in fancy…
Nineteen
It was hot in my bedroom this afternoon. I was lying on the bed looking out the window at the sky intersected by telephone wires. I was sprawled out uncovered and I started remembering. A day like this a long time ago. In Mexico. I was lying on a stained mattress in the middle of…
San Blas and Other Crazy Things
I read it, and I wanted to cry. So I started drinking water quickly to push it down. It doesn’t really matter. I know you loved me more than anything. You taught me that the only way to love is unconditionally. You explained so much. I argued even when I knew you were right because…
once upon a time:
I was drunk and in love.
Allison McCabe 