I forgot about the salty air and the heat coming off his skin.
Category: Old Days
A different me. No longer applicable.
No Tell Motel
You only felt pain radiating through your bones, your fingers tight on the steering wheel, your other hand pressing down against your thigh to calm the ache.
Seventeen
I remember the first time I left town after having a boyfriend. I don’t know if he was really a boyfriend because he still had a wife.
Drive
That night we fought about his wife. We were drunk. He had to buy the beers because I was only eighteen.
Kicking in Malibu
My skin is hot and bumpy, my hair hurts where it is attached to my scalp. There is a growing fire in my chest and I feel like it’s burning me from the inside out.
New Mexico, 35 degrees.
It’s nights like these that I can’t stop thinking about you and those deserted middle of the night Albuquerque roads. There was a dive bar where we drank Bohemia and tequila shots and played on a pool table with ripped felt. It was impossible to make a straight shot. It was freezing outside. I didn’t…
Anniversary.
Remember being seventeen in that coffee place across the street from the bookstore when he told you it couldn’t happen again, and you said if he changed his mind to let you know. How he went down on you in that cheap motel in Ensenada with your friend in the other bed and it felt…
Blackburn Daze.
Once I went home with this guy named Brian. He was a barback at Vertigo. Remember Vertigo? I don’t remember too much except that we had sex on a couch under a giant picture of the Nothing’s Shocking cover and he kept telling me to say “I’m coming I’m coming!” The picture was really big,…
Denny’s
It was too difficult and familiar tonight. I didn’t want to call you back but your message said you’d finished rehearsal and you were hungry and wanted to meet us. You joined our table, tried to join in our laughter. The lights are bright at Denny’s. It’s not junkie light. Not the kind of place…
Las Vegas: Sanctuary
Las Vegas: I drove through the night to get here. I left LA at two in the morning which is the best time to leave for Vegas; the air is cooler through the passes and your car is less likely to overheat. I tried to time it so that I could watch the changing colors…
Las Vegas: Resistance is Futile.
Once I came to Vegas with a vegan friend. We ate at the Bellagio buffet and all he could do was stare at tourists in disgust. Fat people consuming and consuming. Sometimes people would fill two trays at a time and bring them back to their table. He found something to eat — sauteed vegetables,…
Jill, Family.
Last night I was at Jill’s apartment in Hollywood. We were shooting oxy’s and talking about childhood. Jill grew up in a wealthy, chaotic home. She had an older brother and an older sister. Her dad had a high-up position at Fedex and was rarely home. Her mom was kind of crazy, Jill said, like…
